Why Leadership Gets Harder After You've Proven You're Good
When I was training to become certified in the Leadership Circle Profile 360 assessment, I kept coming back to one provocative idea: the very skills that helped a leader rise — the ones that earned them credibility, promotions, and results — can eventually become the thing holding them back.
I saw this play out in my own 360 feedback. My reports and peers rated me as highly conservative, a tendency that sits in the reactive dimension of the Leadership Circle. And honestly, for a long time, it was a strength. I didn't make rash decisions. I analyzed options carefully and worked hard to minimize risk before committing. But my team, peers, and boss no longer needed that from me. They needed speed. They needed someone willing to take greater risks and lean into courageous decisions, even in the face of uncertainty. The careful, deliberate approach that once made me effective had become a bottleneck.
That realization stuck with me. And I've seen the same pattern surface repeatedly in my coaching work.
Leaders tend to move through four distinct phases, and each one asks them to let go of something that used to work.
Phase 1: “I need to prove I’m competent.”
This is the emerging leader phase. The focus is almost entirely on performance:
Doing excellent work
Being reliable
Knowing the answer
Producing results
Being seen as capable
Turning point: They can become over-attached to performance, perfection, and external validation.
Development shift: From doing the work well to understanding how the work impacts the larger system.
Phase 2: “I need to learn strategy and influence.”
This is where strong executors begin to realize that technical excellence alone isn't enough. They start asking:
Who needs to be aligned?
What matters to the decision-makers?
How do I frame this idea?
What is the bigger objective?
Where does informal influence actually live? (more on this in a future post)
Turning point: They may still try to influence through sheer effort rather than through positioning, timing, and clarity.
Development shift: From working harder to thinking more strategically.
Phase 3: “I need to navigate power and visibility.”
This is where leadership becomes emotionally more complex. The leader now has greater access to senior decision-makers, more visibility, and more exposure to organizational politics. Common themes include:
Fear of disappointing powerful people
Uncertainty around who to trust
Pressure to impress
Discomfort with self-advocacy
Identity tension around title, authority, and ambition
Turning point: Power dynamics trigger self-doubt, over-explaining, people-pleasing, or shrinking.
Development shift: From seeking approval to being grounded in your own authority.
Phase 4: “I need to lead without abandoning myself.”
This is the maturity phase. The leader realizes the goal isn't to become tougher, colder, or more performative. It's to remain steady, values-led, and effective under complex conditions. They begin asking:
What kind of leader do I want to be under pressure?
What do I need to let go of?
Where am I over-functioning?
What boundaries protect my best leadership?
How do I stay connected to myself while leading others?
Turning point: High commitment can tip into over-responsibility and burnout.
Development shift: From proving strength to practicing self-trust.
These shifts are genuinely hard to make alone. We get stuck in ingrained patterns, often ones we can't even see clearly, as my conservatism was invisible to me until my 360 named it. Moving through them takes intentional space to slow down, real commitment to unpacking your own behaviour, and a willingness to deepen self-awareness.
If you're stepping into a bigger leadership role and want support staying grounded while expanding your influence, I'd love to connect.
